Creating a Birth Plan: The 5 Questions to Consider
There are so many options when it comes to having a baby, and honestly, there is a lot to consider when it comes to birth.
For someone who has never given birth before—or someone who simply doesn’t know the difference between all the options—it can feel overwhelming. 😂
Your capacity for pain, your background, culture, religion, race, personal preferences, previous experiences, fears, and the kind of support you want can all influence what feels right for you.
And then there’s the tiny person we’re planning all of this for.
Who, quite frankly, could care less about the birth plan. 😂
At the end of the day, most of us want the same thing: to get baby here safely and soundly.
But that doesn’t mean having a birth plan isn’t valuable.
A birth plan isn’t about predicting exactly how your labor will go or controlling every detail. It’s an opportunity to learn about your options, think about what matters to you, communicate your preferences, and prepare yourself for the possibility that things may change.
And they may change.
So instead of trying to create the perfect birth plan, start with five simple questions:
WHO?
Who do you want involved in your birth?
Who will be your primary support person? Do you want your partner, doula, family member, or someone else present?
Who do you want in the room—and who absolutely does not need to be there?
You may also want to consider who you trust to help you make decisions if you’re tired, overwhelmed, or unable to communicate your wishes clearly.
WHAT?
What matters most to you?
This is where you begin exploring your preferences.
You might consider:
● Pain management
● Movement and positioning during labor
● Monitoring
● Induction or augmentation
● Medical interventions
● Who you want involved in decision-making
● Immediate newborn care
● Feeding preferences
● Skin-to-skin
● Cord clamping
● Postpartum preferences
You don’t have to have an opinion about everything.
Sometimes the answer is simply, “I don’t know yet.”
And that’s okay.
Not knowing is actually a great reason to ask questions and learn more before you give birth.
WHEN?
When do you want certain things to happen or be discussed?
For example, when would you like to discuss pain medication?
When would you want your provider to explain an intervention?
When would you want to go to the hospital or birth center?
When do you want your support person to step in?
Thinking through these things ahead of time can make it easier to communicate during labor, especially when you’re focused on the work of giving birth.
WHERE?
Where do you want to give birth?
Your location can influence the options available to you.
You may choose a hospital, birth center, or home birth depending on your circumstances, preferences, provider, and level of comfort.
Consider not only where you want to give birth, but also what that location offers.
What are their policies? What options are available? What happens if your plans change?
Knowing this ahead of time can help you make informed decisions rather than trying to figure everything out while you’re in labor.
WHY?
Why does this matter to you?
This may be the most important question of all.
Your birth preferences don’t exist in a vacuum.
Your background, culture, religion, race, previous experiences, personal beliefs, relationship with pain, fears, and expectations can all shape how you feel about birth and medical care.
Understanding why you want something can also help you communicate your preferences more clearly.
For example, instead of simply saying, “I don’t want that,” you may be able to explain what concerns you have and what you would need to feel comfortable moving forward.
That opens the door for conversation.
And Then… Be Ready to Adjust.
Here’s the part I want every expecting parent to remember:
Your birth plan is a plan—not a promise.
You can prepare for your ideal birth and still leave room for the unexpected.
Labor may take a completely different direction than you imagined. Your preferences may change once you’re actually experiencing labor. Your baby may have different plans altogether. 😂
And that’s okay.
Adjusting your birth plan doesn’t mean you failed.
It doesn’t mean you made the wrong choices.
It means you’re responding to the situation in front of you.
The goal isn’t to have a birth that looks exactly like the piece of paper you brought with you.
The goal is to feel informed, supported, heard, and safe throughout the process.
So make the plan.
Ask the questions.
Learn your options.
Know yourself.
And then give yourself permission to change the plan when you need to.
Because ultimately, we’re planning for a baby who has absolutely no idea what we wrote down. 😂
We’re simply doing our best to prepare for their arrival—and that’s more than enough.
And if you need help navigating it all, hire a doula! That’s what we’re here for. 🧡
— Brittany 🧡, CD, ELD
Holistic Wellness Practitioner • Herbalist • Full Spectrum Doula
